Of #MuseumMeToo, Whiteness, and Doing the Right Thing

********** So what I really meant to write about is this: In my ongoing journey recognizing the limitations and boundaries of my own whiteness, sometimes I hear stories that speak to the way we as white humans think we're doing the "right" thing, but it backfires majestically. Let's imagine there's a white development officer and a curator who's a woman of color. The curator knows of an eminently successful young, black businessman who's just sold his company for $30 million. She follows him on social media, knows he's a collector, and has met him at a social event. She discusses this with the white advancement officer who's aware of the businessman's success. She asks the museum to approach him because her upcoming show will include several artists he collects. She's hoping for additional underwriting for her exhibit and maybe an acquisition fund for artists of color. Instead, the development officer asks her to reach out first. In his world, it's better if the businessman is approached by a) someone he sort-of knows, and b) by someone of color. He may also be scared--scared he's not culturally astute enough--and he'll say something wrong, and he doesn't want to be wrong. The curator of color is angry because to her the optics look terrible. The collector isn't a small business owner. He's a gazillionaire who's just sold to a multi-national corporation. Why shouldn't he be treated like any other 1-percent entrepreneur? What's wrong here? Well, a lot, but definitely a failure to communicate. The white advancement officer is unable or unwilling to confess he feels ignorant, something he'd do in a heartbeat if the prospect were an international, and there were a language barrier. In addition, he's comfortable letting the curator of color carry the burden of race. She, on the other hand, reads the situation from the black entrepreneur's point of view and suspects he'll be insulted if he isn't treated like every other big giver the museum approaches. So where does leadership come into all of this? Good leaders understand their own limitations and vulnerabilities. Humbling themselves in front of colleagues, admitting what they don't know, and asking for help come naturally. When we're all being our best selves--admittedly a daily struggle--we need to model great leader behavior: stop worrying about judgement, stop worrying about control, stop writing the script for others, and instead communicate and collaborate. What if the advancement officer admitted a gift from this young entrepreneur would be a first from a non-white donor, and he was scared of messing it up?  What if he asked for the curator's help and collaboration instead of turning the ask back to her? What if she felt she could say, I am not the spokesperson for my entire race? And further, what if, as a woman of color, she  also didn't need to worry about being characterized as brash and pushy? There are a number of ways this story could have gone. I offer it only to point out how our narratives hem us in. Understanding our own parameters enough to know what we don't know, and having the courage to be vulnerable are leadership practices we all need to develop. Joan Baldwin